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Opinion

The definitive trash tier list

Chiu on This
A short and regular opinion blast from Stephen Chiu

As I use the word trash all the time to denote bad teams, I’ve created this list to differentiate the different levels of trash there are in competition. Applicable to all esports:

Trash men: The honorable ones who clean up these filthy streets. They rise above the filth and the trash and make the world a better, cleaner place.

Recyclable trash: As trash, you are among the better of your kind. After some polish, you can be reused to become a fit member of society and one day hope to rise up to the rank of trash men.

Junkyard trash: Your team has a few players that could hope to be trash men one day, but it’s hard to see it through the amount of trash in the general vicinity. You must wait for the right chance to escape the junkyard or break free from your prison of trash.

Bridge trash: A specific type of trash where construction workers decide to skimp on the budget. Instead of reinforcing the bridge with things like concrete or metal beams, they fill it in with trash. It will then promptly explode, but at least for a moment, people thought you were something other than you were, which is trash.

Dumpster on fire: There is no hope left for this team. It is the mangiest, most disgusting filth you’ve born witness to in real life. The only hope left to salvage this team is to burn it in purifying flames and end the abomination.

Pacific landfill trash: You are such trash that there is nothing left to save you, and you have been thrown into the ocean in hopes that no one will ever see you again.

Orbiting the earth trash: We literally cannot get rid of you without destroying the atmosphere. The worst kind of trash: the type that will outlive us all for millions of years. While the scene cannot get rid of you, you are still trash for eternity.

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